British Squirrels

WARNING:  The following post is actually a flashback into last summer...but it's so funny, we still laugh about it frequently.

Child #1 is a sleepwalker.  Not so much anymore, but last summer was quite humorous.

He was notorious for going to bed at 10:30, falling NEARLY to sleep, then in a dazed stupor, come into our bedroom panicking about the fact that he couldn't sleep and the world must be coming to an end (or something like that).

On this certain night, or rather, these certain nights, he had this problem.

Child #1:  I can't...I can't....I can't sleep and I can't stand it.  I've just had it.  I've been down there forever and I just can't...my life isn't...I just can't handle this anymore!  (He had actually been in bed for approximately 20 minutes.)
Me:  What's wrong this time, son?
Child #1:  You've gotta check things out.  There's something bad downstairs.  It's a big problem.  You've gotta come and see.
Me:  (waking up the hubs) Your turn, honey.

They go down together.  Thirty seconds later, hubs comes up laughing his guts out.

Me:  What in the world?...
Husband:  He's convinced there's a squirrel living in his walls.
Me:  [snort]

NEXT NIGHT

Child #1: I can't...I can't....I can't sleep and I can't stand it.  I've just had it.  I've been down there forever and I just can't...my life isn't...I just can't handle this anymore!  (He had actually been in bed for approximately 20 minutes.)
Me:  What's wrong this time, son?
Child #1:  You've gotta check things out.  There's something bad downstairs.  It's a big problem.  You've gotta come and see.  This time it's really scary.
Me:  Just tell me about it.
Child #1:  There's something down there talking...I don't even want to tell you, it's SOOO bad!
Me:  What, dear.
Child #1:  It's talking....British.  It has a British accent.
Me: (trying hard not to laugh, but failing miserably) Something's speaking with a British accent?
Child #1:  YES!  I don't know what it is.  It's a deep voice.  Pretty sure it's a man.
Me or Husband (I don't quite remember):  Where is it coming from?
Child #1:  Outside my window.  Or maybe even from inside the walls.  It's really close.
Husband:  Oh, it's probably just that squirrel.They're quite common around here. 
Me: [snort]
Child #1:  Be serious.  British squirrels don't live around here.  They're from France! 
Me: [snort again topped with crazy, hysterical laughter]
Husband:  Let's go downstairs and tell your little squirrel friend to be quiet.
Child #1:  'kay.
Me:  G'night son.